Single mothers raising twins or pregnant single mothers expecting twins have to encounter numerous challenges like emotional instability, financial constraints, and sleeplessness that collectivity leads to depression. They also do not have sufficient time to take care of their physical and mental health. Single moms bringing home newborn twins requires planning and taking the right strategies to overcome all the difficulties.
How To Raise Twins As A Single Mom?
It can be difficult for a lot of people to become single mothers of twins as they do not get an opportunity to share parental responsibilities with their partner or spouse. While some women become single mothers of twins after, a death, or divorce some adopt twins while some become single mothers using fertility treatments such as egg or sperm donation. Irrespective of how you have joined this club of single moms of twins you go through an overwhelming feeling of stress and frustration to provide for your children and juggle everything on your own. It can sometimes be lonely without back support or family members therefore you need to prepare yourself ahead of time. Following are the tips to raise twins on your own as a single mom.
1. Get Gear That Can Make Your Life As A Single Mom Of Twins Easier And Simpler
Having an extra set of arms is helpful for single moms with newborn twins. If you do not have friends or family members near you to support you in your single parenthood journey then you can get support by getting a second pair of arms which can replicate the feeling. Organic infant cushions can be a viable solution for you. These pillows use the weight of the baby to create a similar sense of being held by people.
2. Freezing Food
Raising twins as a single mom and cooking food at the same time is a challenging task. Ordering food from outside and restaurants can be expensive therefore single moms of twins can use frozen food. Crock pot recipes are a good option for freezing meals and you need not stand in the oven for hours to prepare your meals. In this way, you can easily prepare your dinner for yourself and your family.
3. Seek Extended Visits And Help From Family Members And Friends
You can seek help from family members and friends and ask them whether they can stay longer or pay extended visits to help you manage newborn twins. You can take help from your parents, siblings, or trusted friends who are willing to stay. If your parents are a few miles away from your house they can help with you for some weeks and help you manage your twins. Extended visitors are helpful, unlike weekend visitors. It is easy to explain to your family members or friends who live nearby where to buy diapers or twin products for you.
4. Hiring Help
Outsourcing help as a single mom of twins is possible if you can cover the expenses and have the funds aside for it. Hiring a nanny who can work full-time or part-time during the day will help to take care of the twins. Seeking help from a nanny who has tired experience in taking care of twins will be helpful. You can also opt for a learning service that can handle the housework while you can spend time with your twins or get the rest needed. A babysitter can also provide a sense of relief and can assist you in times of your need. Go for a babysitter who is experienced in managing twins. Night nurses are quite similar to nannies however they come to your home at night or in the evening and take care of twins. This will help you to get rest and sleep as much as possible.
Single Mom Of Twins Benefits
Having twins requires a lot of hard work however it also comes with certain advantages such as the following:
1. One Pregnancy Two Babies
Pregnancy can be a heavy burden on mothers especially single moms who have to navigate the pregnancy alone. Twin pregnancy is said to be prone to complications. However, with twin pregnancies, you get two babies at a time and mothers have to go through all the miseries of pregnancy like bed rest, uncomfortable sleeping, and heartburn, just once. You can deliver two babies in less than nine months which would otherwise have taken 18 months to nurture delivery. Single moms can grow their families with twins.
2. Double Tax Deduction
Single mothers can get tax benefits from having minor children in the United States. Having two babies at once means you get double the tax deduction and this can be a huge financial advantage for you. When you are considering tax savings do not consider the amount of money that you will be spending on baby formula, diapers, or extra clothing and supplies for your newborn twins. The expenses can quickly offset the tax savings. Having twins is a huge financial burden and this is the reason why the government gives deductions in the first place.
3. Your Twins Will Always Have A Friend
Twins can be constant companions of one another ever since they are born. Your children will get a built-in friend in their siblings and get to play along with one another. The difficult phases of raising twins happen simultaneously which would otherwise have been spread out over time.
4. Additional Support For Single Moms Pregnant With Twins
Single moms who are expecting multiple babies or twins are not entitled to additional paternity or maternity benefits. Their entitlements to even pay will be saved if they’re expecting a baby. However, they can claim child benefits and child tax credits for each child individually. Single moms pregnant with twins and belonging to low-income groups can get benefits known as tax credits as well as become a beneficiary of the Sure Start Maternity Grant. This grant is a one-time payment that can help them to cover the cost of baby items and maternity.
How To Take Care Of Twins As A Single Mom?
Single mothers can take the following parenting strategies to take care of their twins.
1. Seek Help
It is recommended for single moms to reach out to their relatives or friends if they are finding it difficult to raise twins on their own. You need to remember that you are not alone and help and support are available for you in times of your need. You need to identify trustworthy people within your circle and leave them with their twins and take a break.
2. Incorporate A Routine
Developing a baby’s sleep schedule will be beneficial for your children when they are four to six weeks. The innate biological clock will help them to distinguish day and night. You can also set routines for bathing, feeding, dim lighting, and cool music.
3. Feeding Them Simultaneously
Single moms can bottle or breastfeed their newborn twins simultaneously with the use of comfy proper pillows. Feeding and cuddling them together will help you to better manage both kids together. You need to make sure you’re consuming the right amount of fluids if you are breastfeeding your twins.
4. Avoid Comparing Your Twins
No two children are similar and twins may have different developmental situations which is normal. As kids tend to grow they become sensitive to what you see around them. Comparing twins can make one child feel less intelligent, incapable, and less loved.
5. Prepare For Twins Before Delivery
Single mothers pregnant with twins have to raise them alone therefore shopping early for their equipment and clothes will be a smart choice. You can avail discounts for twins from many baby shops. Having a portable crib, bathtub, breast pump, baby monitor, nursing pillows, stroller, changing table, playing mat, swing, and baby carrier will be helpful.
Help For Single Mom With Twins
Raising children in the United States is a huge financial burden. This situation is harder for single mothers who are expecting two. Fortunately, help in the form of government grants and assistance programs are available for single mothers having twins that reduce their financial burden and help them to better manage their kids. Help for single mothers of twins includes the following.
1. National Organization of Mothers Having Twins
The National Organization Of Mothers Having Twins is an organization founded in 1960 that includes around 450 nationwide chapters and is geared towards promoting motherhood education. The organization has a membership of around 25,000 women and as per its official website the organization mothers having twins can participate in psychological and medical research projects. Single mothers of twins can contact the organization if they are looking for community support. The organization provides support to parents who have twins suffering from disabilities.
2. Obama Pell Grants
The federal government under the presidency of Barack Obama designed the Pell Grant program to support single moms who wish to enroll in college and pursue higher education. Mothers of singletons, twins, triplets, or multiple children can apply for this grant. Obama’s Pell Grants provides financial support of $10,000 that can help single parents in raising their children while furthering their education. The number of children does not affect the size of the grant and the financial award is provided on local and state levels through nonprofit organizations.
3. Tampa Bay Area Mothers of Multiples
This is a renowned organization that offers education, community support, and grants to single mothers expecting twins. The Tampa Bay Area Mothers of Multiples was founded in 1995 with the mission to promote hands-on assistance and guidance to veteran and expectant mothers of multiple children including their family members. The organization offers a lot of support to expectant mothers, for instance, single moms expecting twins, triplets, quadruplets, or more.
4. Housing Grants
The United States Department of Housing and Urban Development or HUD offers discounted rental units to single mothers and low-income individuals who are going through financial hardship and require housing grants. Single moms of twins who are at risk of eviction including individuals with disabilities, senior citizens, minorities, and rural communities are eligible members of these housing grants. Apart from HUD programs, the United States Department of Agriculture is another government entity that provides funding for housing to needy single moms.
Single Mom Adopting Twins
The process of adopting twins as a single mom is quite similar to single child adoption however single mothers should be prepared for two times the paperwork, and court proceedings and be patient during the waiting period. While prospective single moms may up their minds about adopting twins the waiting time for biological twins may take much time. The United States courts try to keep the siblings together through adoption since it is in the best interest of the kids to stay with their biological siblings. It may not be too long to wait for single moms to adopt twins and most of them adopt children or siblings close in age to fulfill their parenting wishes. Adopting multiple children, however, is not easy especially if you are not biologically related. You need to consider the cost which comes with twin-baby adoption. Single mothers must consider the fact that when adoption is costlier as it accommodates extra court proceedings and paperwork. Moreover, the fees associated with adopting twin babies are different from adopting one child.
Single moms need to plan financially for twins or multiples. If they are finding it difficult to cover the costs then they can formulate a plan and save an amount of money which is equivalent to a minimum of three months of expenses before their twins arrive. The above-mentioned grants will also help you to reduce your financial burden. Single moms who are pregnant with two or more babies or planning to adopt twins can join support groups to learn the right tips, and strategies and avail support from other single parents.